Tuesday, October 27, 2015


nurture your marriage/regaining intimacy

As a Certified Pastoral Counselor and a Qualified Mental Health Professional, one of my focuses and purpose is helping couples in their purpose to restore their relationship through increasing cohesion, improving communication, promoting forgivenness and hope, and restoring or increasing their level of intimacy...

Something I wrote (while on my pastoral ministerial soap box) on marital intimacy after reading and gleaning from  " Strengthening marital intimacy" by  Ronald E. Hawkins

Marriage today is in trouble and the divorce rate is high even within the church. Because of this fact, there have arrived many marriage and family programs, marital help books, seminars and marriage enrichment ministries that are designed to help nurture and strengthen marriages, and equip premarital couples. There are various societal and internal influences that affect couples and these influences are broadening such as negative poor examples of families on television shows, the lack of understanding of what God’s intent and purpose in marriage, depletion and lack of intimacy and commitment, emotional, spiritual and psychological issues that each partner in a marriage carries.

These factors cause wear and tear on the amount of intimacy, nurturance (providing emotional and physical support & care), and EFFECTIVE/POSITIVE communication in marriage. The truth is that God is no longer the third strand in many marital relationships, and society along with its people have deterred from God and His plan and values on marriage, found in the book of Ephesians 5:22.  The author Ronald E. Hawkins wrote a book titled Strengthening Marital Intimacy. His book addresses God’s design, marriage goals, commitment, sexuality, the foundation of marriage, communication and more. Studies have shown that strong marriage are beneficial to society because they add stability and a sense of community, and this ‘sacred’ institute creates financial stability as well because two people coming together create less of a financial strain within a household and can also provide financial support for both individuals in a marriage.

In regards to maintaining marital intimacy, without welcoming spiritual and wisdom directions, and influence from God, intimacy is often lost in a marriage and if any, marriage goals dissolve. It takes much prayer and effort to both build and maintain a strong marriage. Hawkins note, “God-honoring marriages do not just happen. They are the result of diligent prayer and hard work on the part of both husband and wife.”[1]Wisdom is revealed by God to help marriages. Marriage is no longer viewed and valued as a sacred and godly ordained institution. It is now treated as a daunting unbiblical relationship without the spiritual disciplines of prayer, and consulting the Bible for direction and governing.
[1]Ronald E. Hawkins, Strengthening marital intimacy, (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1991): 10.   

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